Tomorrow morning I will be checking into my luxury suite at Memorial Hospital for total removal of my thyroid gland. The surgery will start at 7:30am and I have been told that it could take up to 2 1/2 hours.
I’m not looking forward to another surgery but am anxious for it to be done and over with. Maybe this will be the last one for a very long time!! I have been told to expect a 2 night hospital stay so they can get me regulated on thyroid medicine before sending me home. I expect that I will hear by early next week what the pathology shows on the thyroid and any lymph nodes if Dr. Kletzing decides to remove any.
I can’t remember on the previous blog if I mentioned that I have an appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Rafat Ansari on the 20th of February, just a week after surgery.
Curt will blog about the surgery tomorrow sometime.
I have had some spiritual warfare going on lately. I know that I am experiencing a normal flux of emotions that accompanies a diagnosis of cancer.
I have been thinking more about death. When I think of cancer death is my very next thought because I have had two loved ones die from it. So, there is some fear there. There is no fear about what happens after death. I settled that years ago when I accepted what Jesus did for me on the cross…he paid for my sins so that I can live eternally with him. It is the getting there, the means, the possibility of it being cancer. To understand that kind of fear you would have to witness what I witnessed when my sister died from lung cancer that ended up in her brain. I keep reminding myself that her story is not my story. AND that “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 Scripture always puts things back in perspective.
The other struggle has been with the idea that the cancer might re-occur down the road. This too, is a normal thought for anyone that has cancer. It is aways a thought lurking in the back of your mind.
God is so good and patient as I walk through this journey. He is not saying that I have to get it right the first time or that I am a disappointment to him if I have a bad day and think negative thoughts. He loves me and allows me to work through all the mental battles. As a matter of fact he walks with me through them. Oh, to have a God who promises to “never leave us nor forsake us” and says “I am with you always.” It is priceless. I think I am over the hump of this latest mental and spiritual battle. Thank you, Lord.
I am praying that when the pathology comes back on the thyroid gland that the cancer that was there would no longer be there. What a testimony that would be!
My prayer requests are…
~That God would give wisdom to and direct every step of every person involved with my care during these next few days.
~No cancer would be found in the thyroid or any lymph nodes. (He did it before. He can do it again!)
~I would quickly become regulated on thyroid medication and heal quickly.
~God would prepare and give wisdom to Dr. Ansari for the next step…whatever that is.
This verse really speaks to my heart about the spiritual warfare I have been facing.
Psalm 61:1-3
Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhemed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.
Continuing to trust in him.
Love,
Carmel
Carmel,
I just want you to know what a blessing you are to us. I just met you once at a meeting, and then at Jenell’s testimony. Reading your entries of what your going through has been an absolute blessing to me. You just have Gods grace radiating from you, even in the down times. Your words and the scriptures you share have been an encouragement to me as I am going through some trials too. May God continue to fill you with His strength and healing and bring you to Victory over this cancer thing. We love you and hold you up in prayer. Hugs, Sue